Magnus

Dear Magnus,

Well what a little surprise you were baby boy.
Arriving 9 days early on Monday 11^th September at 11:11am.

Having been out for lunch with Mum and Dad on the Sunday and feeling very strange, when we got home I thought something was up so I called the hospital and they wanted to get us in.

Within a matter of minutes of being there my waters broke, quite embarrassingly all over a midwife, and then we got moved to the labour ward.

I have to say my whole birth plan went straight out the window.

Stating through my whole pregnancy that I wanted a water birth, but nope, actually being there, with the contractions and the worry of you being early I just wanted gas and air and all the pain relief I could get.

And then the wait happened.

16 hours later, a few injections, some vomiting and your dad having a cat nap on some bean bags I was told I was 10cm and asked was I ready to have a baby.

With a ‘Let’s do this’, 18 pushes later and within 20 minutes there you were, in my arms, this wonderful, overwhelming squidge that I couldn’t love more.

Weighing 7lb10 and measuring 49cm long you were just perfect.

Already rocking your Mum’s frown and looking the spitting image of you Dad (minus the beard) you have instantly changed our world.

Don’t get me wrong it hasn’t been all rainbows and unicorns. We have had tears from both of us, sleepless nights and far too many pure panic moments of ‘am I doing this right’. But I wouldn’t change it for the world.

I’m pretty sure I am now 80% coffee and 20% wreck.

I’ve never known bags under my eyes like it and I can’t say I look anything like me at the moment.

Things are flabby, swollen and out of place and this is nearly 3 weeks on.

Though in all honesty I’m proud.

I am proud that my body has produced such an awesome little human.

I am proud that through everything I was told when I was younger that my ‘Imperfect body’ was able to make you.

I’m proud that for 9 months I carried you and that my body gave me (though now slightly battered and stretched) you.

Your Dad is a natural with you, and seeing him hold you for the first time made me love him even more. I can’t thank him enough for being so supportive and incredible through everything.

This whole thing will be testing at times, but as long as he knows deep down that the love is always there, that’s all that matters.

Welcome to the world my gorgeous little man.

Your Dad and I couldn’t be more proud or love you more.

Pumpkin

Dear Bump,

This little letter will be short and sweet as I'm slightly struggling with this lower back pain, and trying to type whilst bouncing on the gym ball is proving quite tricky.

However, 38 weeks down, two weeks and counting to go bundle!
This past week with all the wiggles and movements you could surprise us with an early visit, which secretly your Daddy and I would love as we can't wait to meet you.

Nana and Papa P have been growing the vegetable that represents you this week...the Pumpkin!
And looking at the size of my bump I would have to agree with the internet.

After the lows of last week, week 38 has been actually ok.

Things are changing at home.
We have gotten a bigger bed so we can have lots of cuddles when you need them in the middle of the night and also for me to crash out when you sleep, which you will do won't you bump?

The final washes are taking place for your clothes.
Trying to work out what to take for your first outfit is proving quite tricky.
Kick me once for the grey onesie and twice for the cream ducklings.......waits in anticipation.
If you don't let me know we will just spin round and point.
Either way you will look beyond cute.

Not long now bundle until you are here.

Winter Melon

Dear Bump,

The countdown is on.

Though we thought you were making an early appearance over the Bank Holiday Weekend.

On Saturday night I was up with pains across my tummy and ribs with shortness of breath. 
It was one of the most scariest experiences of my life. 

I called the hospital at 6am to see what I should do and they wanted me in.

Notes packed, shoving what we could in a hospital bag at Nana and Papa P’s house, as we hadn’t packed one yet and we set off.

When we arrived I was hooked up to the monitor to make sure you were ok and they told me I was in early labour.
I looked at your incredible Dad (who I can't thank enough for how amazing he has been), as in all honesty I wasn’t sure I was ready, and he just smiled and said I love you we can do this.

Then it all turned upside down.

The contractions stopped but the pain in my ribs was getting worse.  

After blood tests and a lot of pain relief they explained that the ‘contractions’ were Braxton Hicks and they were very concerned that the pain in my ribs was due to my kidney.

Having been kept in Sunday night to be monitored, at 11:30am Bank Holiday Monday I was taken down for a scan to see what was happening.

It turns out that you are quite a big bundle and you are squashing the tube from my kidney to my bladder so I’m not draining my wee properly.

So the pain I’m in is due to a build up where my kidney can’t cope and function properly. 

The wonderful staff at Stoke Mandeville were just incredible and reassured me that everything will be alright. 
They have given me some antibiotics, pain relief and said if the pain continues to go straight back but at the moment the best thing to do is rest up. 

After a panic filled 31 hours the relief of being home was huge, but in a strange way we were both a little bit disappointed to not be bringing you with us.

The whole experience made it so clear how much we already love you and can’t wait to have you here.

Today I am 37 weeks, so you can now rock up and fingers crossed everything would be ok.

My tummy seems to be growing by the day, stretch marks unfortunately are making an appearance but I don’t really care.

Over the past few weeks tangerines have been the new craving of choice.

The strange thing is your Nana had exactly the same craving when she was pregnant with me.

So either you are a huge fan of the tangy juicy taste, or you are adding to, what we think will be, your orange locks.

Not long until we find out.

Three weeks to be exact…well…who knows after last weekend.

Either way do what is right for you.

Even though I am enormous and can’t even get out of bed without rolling like a turtle on it’s shell, it’s worth it to keep you safe.

Can’t believe how quickly this year has gone waiting for you to arrive.

The past nine months have all been in preparation for you, and we couldn’t be more excited…nervous…but excited to meet you.

Not long now bump.

Cauliflower

Dear Bump,

You are now the size of a Cauliflower according to the internet.
Though in my opinion and just from looking at me I would say you are more like the size of a giant pumpkin! 

The letters have been on stand by due to so many things changing in your parents lives. 

We have finally moved into our own little place, though it was stressful, it is also a huge relief. 
Your room looks amazing, it is full of neutral tones and woodland creatures. 
We can't wait for you to see it.
Which (quite crazily) isn't too far away now. 
If you arrive on your due date we will see you in only four more weeks time! 

Over the past few weeks you have given us a few scares which have resulted in tears and hospital visits.
The midwives have been incredible and put our minds at rest by reassuring us that all these 'little hiccups' are perfectly normal.
There is no such thing as a straight forward pregnancy, plus it also means I have some new snazzy stretchy bands that wrap around my ever growing bump...aka you.

Having your due date basically on our doorstep now is making your mum feel so uncomfortable. The waddle, the sleepless nights, and the constant need to graze is ever so real.
Not to mention the twisted pelvis which hasn't helped the situation, but hey it will all be worth it when we finally get to meet you.

If you can do me a huge favour though, can you stay out of my ribs.
It is beyond uncomfortable and there is nothing I can do to shift you. I can't imagine it being that comfortable for you either, so that would be amazing.

The count down is on Bump.
Keep growing (well not too much bigger otherwise I may develop my own gravitational pull).
Keep wiggling as it makes my tummy look funny.
And keep developing into the awesome little human you are.

Can't wait to meet you Cauliflower

Another Step Closer to 30

So the BIG Twenty Six is just around the corner, 13 days to be exact, and in all honesty I don’t really know how to feel.

       

Turning 26 is a pretty big milestone, well saying that I guess its not one of those highly celebrated numbers, but for me, 26 is one that I have somewhat been apprehensive about...almost to the point of dreading. 

Once you reach 26 you are no longer allowed to say, 'I'm in my early 20’s', I mean blimey 4 more years and I’ll be 30!!! How did that happen?!

Whilst trying to get my head round that fact I realised that age is just a number. 

Why am I worrying? 

On the morning of Tuesday 3^rd May I will be no different. 

Physically I will still be a little bit chubby. 

Mentally I will still be a little bit childish. 

                                  

                                                 

And I find it very unlikely I will wake up knowing where my life is going...trust me if I do I will let you know.   

So what is the plan to make the most of this next step closer to being 30? 

Let’s stress less! 

25 was a very stressful year. I’m pretty sure I have acquired several stress lines (face and stretch) from this milestone age. I’ll be whipping out the yoga mat, lighting a few more 'de-stress' candles and to be honest not giving so much of a monkeys about other peoples dramas. Work, Bills and Debts I’ll pop in a little bag at the back of my mind and focus on having fun! 

       

Ditch the podge! 

Well, I am extremely excited about this. I have recently really kicked myself up the bum (sounds like an interesting position) but yeah...I have dropped just over a stone and I couldn’t be happier. Bike every night, no crappy crap and nearly 4 litres of water a day! We are on the right path people. It is just continuing with it. Fingers crossed slightly skinnier Suze is making a come back! 

                                       

                                                                   (And yes that is me) 

Adventure Time…com’on grab your friends!! Blimey I love that programme!

I need some adventuring back in my life. This time last year Beardy and I were travelling around the world and it was incredible!! I think mini adventures are needed to release my inner Fin and Jake. Amsterdam? Berlin? Paris? Who knows…Any ideas guys chuck them my way. 

       

Even though 26 is still a terrifying number and I guess I’m still not fully ready for it, I can’t help but feel if I face it with the right mind set and positive vibe....then sod it! A number is a number. 

Let’s fill this 26^th year with as many memories and fun times as possible.